A Baltimore Dope Fiend’s Miracle: Q&A with Bruce White and Rafael Alvarez

Books that explore the topic of addiction inundate the shelves of bookstores, a fact I see firsthand in the shop where I work, Bird in Hand. Among the titles are examinations of policy and the socio-economic causes and impacts of addiction, medical texts about the way the disease affects the mind and body, and of course biographies and memoirs chronicling that fall to rock-bottom and the clawing back up. So what makes Rafael Alvarez’s new book, “Don’t Count Me Out: A Baltimore Dope Fiend’s Miraculous Recovery” special?  

For one thing, this is a story in which the subject, Bruce White, simply should not have survived. The severity of his addiction and the lengths to which he was willing to go to feed it should have killed him many times over, as the book illustrates. Second, White not only came back from his addiction, but he completely transformed his life and dedicated himself to helping others. Finally, this book stands out because of the reporter’s distance Alvarez uses to tell White’s story. At no point does he sensationalize (the material is sensational enough without any editorial embellishment) or sentimentalize; he simply reports the story of one man’s journey from the picket fences of suburbia to flophouses, to prison, and back again to run successful recovery centers all over our city.

Both author Rafael Alvarez and Bruce White himself spoke to me about the process of writing the book. 

Baltimore Fishbowl to Rafael Alvarez: In the introduction to the book, you describe a 2012 phone call from Bruce White in which he asks you to write his story. Did you decide to take on the project right away, or did you need convincing? What, if any, doubts/hesitations did you have about the endeavor?? What were your reasons for moving forward with the project? 

Rafael Alvarez: After a half-dozen or so years staffing various network TV shows, I was in Hollywood chasing work after the WGA writers’ strike and the Great Recession and staff jobs and selling pilot ideas were hard to come by, at least for me. I missed Baltimore and writing about Baltimore. I’d go to Dodger games and spend nine innings wishing I was at Camden Yards.

When Bruce called, he dropped the name of someone I knew and trusted from Little Italy, so he got my attention right away. I had no idea the story would be as fantastic (in the true sense of the word) as it turned out to be. I had no doubts about the project – or pretty much any project that might have come my way at the time because I needed work. I made no promises of publication (the Cornell angle presented itself after I’d been reporting the story for five years), only that I would produce a professional telling of his story.

Baltimore Fishbowl to Bruce White: Why Rafael Alvarez? What led you to call him and ask him to write your story?

Bruce White: A friend of mine introduced us. Rafael seemed to be an accomplished writer. It just felt like the right thing when I met him.

BFB: Could you describe the process of writing the book? How long did it take? What were the primary challenges? What was most rewarding about the experience?

RA: From the time of Bruce’s phone call in August 2012 it took a little more than ten years to span my first interview with him (at the original Zeke’s on Harford Road) to a published book in the fall of 2022. My process was to transcribe my notes with Bruce (including many pages that he dictated into his computer), make notes in the margins, and then go over those notes in our next meeting while pushing the chronology forward. 

In between meetings with Bruce, which for years were at least two to three times a month, I’d chase documents and people he mentioned in the story: his various arrest and charging documents as well as kids he grew up with, classmates and, after about a month of digging, the 7th grade assistant principal that had him expelled from Towsontowne Junior High. It was old fashioned, shoe leather newspaper work ultimately welded together as a book. The “writing” was the icing on the cake.

BW: Well, the first chapter I wrote in my one-bedroom apartment, and it sat for a couple years. Then I went to college, got a degree, and started my business, so I could afford vacations. I went to Costa Rica, and I would sit out on my deck every morning and write for a couple hours. At sunset I would sit and drink coffee and write for a couple more, and I did that for seven or eight years. There are probably 30 chapters of different stuff I gave Rafi, and he composed the book out of that. My book would have been too violent. My writing was not book-worthy. I’m not a writer, so I wrote my experiences down and let Rafael transform that into the book. 

BFB: Based on the length of time Bruce spent as an addict, I’m guessing there were quite a few stories about the highs (literal and figurative) and lows that you didn’t have space to include. How did you decide what went in the book? Are there any stories that didn’t make the cut, but that you wish you could have included?

RA: The challenge was the balance between his former life as a reckless, violent boy and man and the past 20 years of a “new” man, one who has devoted his life to helping fellow addicts and, if possible, balance the ledger of his deeds and misdeeds. The opening chapter – SWAT team shoot up and his near-death experience leading to doing heavy time – set the tone for the rest of the book. The recovery pages may be less than the bad-ass pages, but I felt the ‘weight’ of the new life made up for it.

BW: There’s a hundred stories that aren’t in it. Rafi’s got at least two other books of stories. 

BFB:  The problem of addiction is one that people struggle with all over the world, but your title specifies that this is the story of a Baltimore addict. What about Bruce’s story is uniquely Baltimorean?

RA:  What fascinates me is there is nothing unique about drug addiction. Bruce came from Leave it to Beaver, white picket fence 1960s virtually monolithically white, upper middle class Lutherville – he had dance lessons in the first grade! – and still wound up in prison. The Baltimore through-line? Dope don’t give a shit.

BFB:  What do you hope readers will take away from the story? 

RA: Very simply, the line he emphasizes in the book: “If I can get clean and sober, anybody can.”

BW: If I want to be 100% honest with myself, the story needed to be told to the addict who still suffers and is counted out by everybody—including himself. I’m a big prayer and meditator. The universe directed me here. The story needed to be told. Not because of me, but because of the message. It’s a message far beyond me. This just happens to be my experience. I believe it was meant to be told.

Book Launch: Sunday, Oct. 30, 6 p.m. at Ikaros Restaurant, 4901 Eastern Avenue. Alvarez and White will both be speaking. Free event.