John Waters is going to jail, and he wants company.
Waters will turn himself in at the Provincetown Jail this summer for the good of society – the Provincetown Film Society, that is.
The writer, filmmaker and recent Hollywood Walk of Fame honoree isn’t charged with a crime. He’s heading to jail as part of the film society’s online fundraising auction, which starts this week.
And here’s the twist: Waters is looking for up to four auction bidders to spend a night in jail alongside him — and have dinner with him — with all proceeds benefitting the non-profit organization.
“A Night in Jail with John Waters” will be “a once-in-a-sentence experience,” the film society promises in an announcement about the auction.
“Four lucky inmates will get the chance to go behind bars to dine and spend the night in Provincetown Jail with John Waters in July 2024. After a private meal served by Chef Jacob Hetnarski, inmates can return to their cells for the night or prowl the corridors in hopes of making friends – just be up in time for 6 a.m. parole!”
Waters, 77, is one of dozens of individuals and businesses that have donated items for the society’s fourth annual winter auction. Actor Murray Bartlett is hosting a private dinner for two bidders. Actress Kathleen Turner, who played the title role in Waters’ 1994 movie, “Serial Mom,” is offering a “personal recorded voicemail greeting.” In a separate bid, Waters is donating a signed copy of his 2021 album, “Prayer to Pasolini.”
The writer and director of films including “Pink Flamingos” and “Hairspray,” and author of books including “Shock Value” and “Mr. Know-It-All,” Waters has permanent residences in Baltimore, New York and San Francisco, but he spends his summers in the Cape Cod beach town and is a strong supporter of the film society.
This will be Waters’ 60th summer in Provincetown, and for the past three years he’s offered some variation of a date with himself as a way to benefit the non-profit arts organization. He led a tour of local sex haunts in 2021, cooked up a “Dinner at the Dump” in 2022 and hosted a “Soiree at the Sewer” in 2023. Each of his past contributions was a marquee event for the auction and raised upwards of $15,000.
Provincetown also figures prominently in the final chapters of Waters’ 2022 novel, “Liarmouth: A Feel-Bad Romance,” as the site of a risqué festival where many of his characters end up.
Every year, “I try to come up with something that will be startling” and different from any other bid item, Waters said in a phone interview when asked how he came up with the idea. “I’ve taught in prison. I’ve written about prison. It’s hardly a surprise that I would do it.”
When considering what to do this year, he said, he also recalled the parties he used to throw in Provincetown every summer with his friend Frankie Rice.
“One year we had one called ‘Protective Custody,’ and I guess I thought of that,” he said. “That’s when they take you in in Provincetown when you’re too high or something and just keep you there until you’re back to your mental health and let you go.”
The dinner is one of more than 120 items that are up for auction this year. It appears four times in the list of bid items. The auction starts on Feb. 2 and ends on Feb. 11. The website is www.biddingforgood.com/ptownfilm.
Bidding for each of the four jail dates with Waters starts at $2,500. Winning bidders will be contacted to choose a date in July that’s mutually agreeable for their night in jail. There’s no mention in the auction materials about conjugal visits, or late check-out.
Good timing
But how can Waters and the film society pull off an event inside the town’s jail? What about the real prisoners? Do they get to have dinner with him, too?
Waters explained that Provincetown is building a new jail and it’s scheduled to open by this summer. The current jail is at 26 Shank Painter Road. The plan calls for the dinner and sleepover to be held in the Shank Painter Road building, after the new jail has opened and all the prisoners have been relocated. The current facility has five cells. That’s why the number of “inmates” is limited – four winning bidders and Waters.
Waters said he intends to spend the entire night in jail. If you’re a winning bidder, “you spend the night with me,” he said. “One of the cells is mine.”
He’s curious to see who shows up.
“It’s always a very friendly night,” he said. “At the Dump, they got really dressed up. They totally get it. They get into the spirit of the whole thing…I hope somebody bids. Maybe they won’t and I’ll have to do solitary confinement.”
The timing of the move to the new building “had a lot to do with” making the event possible, he noted.
“They couldn’t have allowed us to do it in a working jail,” he said. But “basically, it is the real jail. There will be the police represented there for the whole night. We check in, and we get paroled at 6 a.m. Each person has their private cell. You can walk around outside of it though. You have to bring pillows and your blanket with you. There’s a toilet in each cell. There are no other prisoners.”
The local police department, part of the Barnstable County system, is aware of the film society’s past events and is fully on board with this year’s event, as is the rest of the town, he said.
“There are some cool policemen in Provincetown,” he said. “They knew we had these other events, and they want to help raise money for the festival too.”
Hetnarski runs the Sweet Somethings Supper Club, “a roving restaurant throughout New England.” He also prepared the meals for the Dinner at the Dump and the Soiree at the Sewer. Waters said he doesn’t have this year’s menu yet but “I’m sure it will involve tin trays.”
A veteran of Prune, a popular New York restaurant that has been closed since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, Hetnarski is “a really good chef,” Waters added. “He rises or falls to the occasion, whichever you’d call it.”
Last one?
For those who’ve always wanted a date with John Waters, the filmmaker has a warning: This may be the last summer he donates an auction item.
“It might be the last one,” he confesses. “I don’t really know how I can go much further than this.”
On second thought, “I can offer myself sexually at 80,” he muses. “I don’t think anyone’s ever done that at an auction.”
Started in 1999, the Provincetown Film Society is dedicated to showcasing new achievements in independent film and honoring the work of emerging as well as acclaimed directors, producers and actors. Known for its strong support of LGBTQ filmmakers and their work, it has three primary activities: producing the annual Provincetown International Film Festival; running a year-round theater, the Water’s Edge Cinema; and overseeing the Gabrielle A. Hanna Provincetown Film Institute for film and media artist residencies and conferences.
Additional auction items include: “unique to Provincetown” tour and dining experiences; a private Provincetown dune tour; luxury rentals in Provincetown, New York and Palm Springs; a week-long stay in a Provincetown dune shack; a pickleball clinic for four with a professional instructor; an African safari trip; private dinners with celebrity chefs; gift certificates to local and regional shops and restaurants; tickets to major league sports events; and passes to the 26th Provincetown International Film Festival, June 12 to 16.
“Once again, the [Provincetown Film Society] auction has outdone itself with exemplary offerings that encapsulate the fun and uniqueness of Provincetown,” said Executive Director Anne Hubbell, in a statement. “We appreciate the generous donations from Provincetown businesses and individuals, as well as support from the international film community.”
For those who don’t win a night in jail and aren’t in town for the film festival in June, there’s another chance to see Waters in Provincetown this summer: He’ll perform his one-man spoken-word show, “Devil’s Advocate,” at Town Hall on July 25. He also has his “A Date with John Waters” show at Baltimore Soundstage on Feb. 14 and a performance during the Ocean City (Maryland) Film Festival in March. On Wednesday, he appeared during the 10th annual Rancho Mirage Writers Festival in Rancho Mirage, California.
Waters said he’s looking forward to his night in jail.
“Every other year, we’ve had a good time at it,” he said of the auction events. “Some of the people buy tickets every year, the same people.”
It’s a gender-neutral event so anyone above a certain age can bid, he added.
“It can be male, female, them. It can be anybody,” he said. “It’s not like a women’s prison or a men’s prison or any of that. I think it’s going to be an interesting evening. It will be celebratory and maybe make people think, if you know anybody in jail, go visit them. Maybe that’s my message.”
